You might be a republican:
1. If you are opposed to socialism and learned about it in a free public library.
2. If you hate the “de.ath tax” and the only thing you inherited from your parents was baldness and a 1948 GMC pickup truck.
3. If you think a man born in New Haven, Connecticut to a rich Boston family is a good old boy (Bush).
4. If you think a black man raised by single mother, with the middle name Hussein is an elitist.
5. If you are opposed abortion because you have enough money squirreled away to fly your girl friend to Mexico.
6. If you think it’s okay for Limbaugh to take oxycodone, but crack smokers should get life.
7. You want Terry Shivo and Dick Cheney to be kept on life support.